As in when you eat? I have to be the world's worst. I can just about count on spilling something somewhere on my person after almost every meal. I look like a toddler on steroids after I eat. Stout pudgy body, stretchy clothing obviously chosen for comfort rather than style, and food splattered somewhere on those clothes. Eating out is no exception.
Today, while eating out with friends at a favorite tearoom I was enjoying the wild plum muffins and plum jelly they are famous for. We were all three talking at once and oohing and ahhing over the menu as we tried to decide what to get. I had plum jelly perched on the tip of my knife ready to spread on my muffin, when you guessed it, the jelly left the knife in search of a prominent place on my clothes to display itself. First I checked my cleavage, always a favorite place for food of all kinds to land. Nope. Then I checked that obnoxious ring around my middle. It usually comes in second for food's favorite place to land. Nope. Satisfied it had missed me entirely, I looked up as the waiter came over to take our order. He stood perfectly poised, as he rattled off the day's specials. I asked a few questions, then made my request. Just as he left the table, I found the jelly. A shimmery pink glob of the stuff was perched on my chin. Of course, I laughed at myself as I pointed out my gaffe to my girlfriends. They joined me in sympathy and one of them said if she had seen it there she would have told me in time to wipe it off. After all, what are friends for? Whatever. Just wait til the next time she has lipstick on her teeth.